Chronicles of a Manchild

In an age of perceptual wealth and perceived value our selves are not necessarily for sale but process a sense of wealth for others who depend on outside transactional relationships. The waiter may hate their customers but depend on a hefty tip to balance out their expenditures and cost of living. A cross road of necessity and privilege. Depending on the positioning of the individuals involved. For it is not uncommon for a young adult to experience these transactional relationship out of independent desire and interest as building blocks of character. An opportunity for a confrontation of cognitive functioning experienced on the front lines of necessity and privilege.   

Coined mental awarenesses like brandname body wash; our understanding of society is embedded into our cognition to hold back the empowerment of self. Have we ever asked ourselves where these unnatural hierarchal structures came from? Why something that serves no value to the collective is socially accepted among the collective? Each day is a holiday, a weekend, and halloween. There are no mighty people and lower class. A fast car with a cool paint job is still just a car. A life is a life. There is no such thing as a foreigner. Weird, normalized, insane, cognitive structures that corrupt the perception of society in a way that doesn't benefit the collective. Though, as the system divides the benevolent proclaim victory over the defeated. Another coined mental awareness. 

This bonafide artisan is nothing more then a musician stuck trying to be a craftsman. Cheating my potential to focus on a more plausible economically beneficial direction. As time is the hottest commodity practicing for hours to perform for peanuts isn't exactly a believable business model. Though creating a tangible object that could be resold years later or stored for future sales is a reasonable practice. It still isn't paying the bills. Though, as a manchild these principles of practical financial business management planning, damage the potential of having fun in the process. Work isn't supposed to be fun in a maddening world of coined mental awarenesses. It could be a whole lot of fun to challenge yourself to pursue personal ambitions and dreams. When one is young and dreams don't interfere with reality and the coined mental awarenesses that dictate the conceptual ideals of success are still within your grasp, some appreciate they had the privilege and not the necessity. Almost as if following our passions is a punishment for breaking the status quo. Call me crazy but following our passion shouldn't be such an unobtainable ambition or dream.   

After years of failure, retirement has become a mythological being pursued by fervent disciples. While health is mental and work is physical the drain on the body and spirit generates health issues by environmental degradation. A display of a mental diet that is tainted with poison by the 'nature vs nurture collaboration'; that enlightens the cognition that it does not. A personal opinion by the awareness of the privilege who tested the waters but not out of necessity. So, some levels of perceptual awareness are required to measure the functioning graft because seeing trash at food kitchens for the homeless can give one reason to believe, if the metrics are set at a standard of basic living. Then again it was a soup kitchen for the homeless. Not exactly a social paradigm that should be normalized but is praised as a benevolent win for the embattled. 

Communism is social sharing... but not fundraisers, government social services or collective bargaining but an imagined idea. I argue that it is democratic. Yet, in an era of dirty money in politics, soldiers for hire and nonprofit corporate empires the democratic positioning states the direction of collective reasoning. While the efforts are to portray a unified front, the not so benevolent citizens of the system are working through legal loop holes and grasping to adorned spokes persons for 'representation' as the not so elected power players continue to finish other projects that are not even being focused on. Communism is not a solution but instead the imagined idea that the populous can provide for each other through collective effort. An elective of action, not of governing elected officials and bureaucratic procedures. There will always be red tape and gate keepers but human rights are not services provide to the privilege out of necessity but a privilege guaranteed to every human.            

Obviously the coined mental awareness of communism is a political party or radical idealogical position. This has nothing to do with supporting a rational or irrational affiliation to any practicing creed. A friend of mine decided to pursue music and when asked to do an interview. The response was that, "after more experience and performances" then we could probably have an interview. This was maddening to the senses... because the fact that this person was brave enough to go on stage, release a creation and pursue their dreams - the point of the interview was simply to be supportive. Yet again that coined mental awareness of normalized madness. The art industry is measured by metrics that cannot be valued in the same manner as tangible goods. Being supportive of their ambitions isn't the same as helping them purchase their own home. An artist is a small business owner but the coined mental awareness of success is measured by exposure, fame and wealth. Imagine if every flower shop owner or landscaper measured their ideal position in this manner. 

As a manchild these irrational rational decision making skills are confusing. As a middle age adult the fear of a future without protection and security is a reality that awaits me as a punishment for pursing ambitions over practical reasoning. A life worth living but a lesson learned that will permeate as a generational speed bump holding back future generations of my bloodline because of stubbornness to pursue ambition over sensible and practice planning. A proud witness of youthful friends making the same mistakes but a shameful adult with an unrealistic self grandiose idealism. Nearing the age of retirement with nothing prepared and wishing to be whatever I want to be when I grow up. 





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